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I am a hard working, stable life, happily married, PCOS Suffering,TTC,Baby obesssed, Animal loving, nature enjoying, greened thumb, intelligent, trying to figure out what God has in mind for my life kind of woman...

Sunday, May 31, 2009

The truth about cats & dogs (a borrowed sentiment)

8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!12:00 PM – Lunch! My favorite thing!1:00 PM – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!3:00 PM – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!5:00 PM – Milk bones! My favorite thing!7:00 PM – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!8:00 PM – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!11:00 PM – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Day 983 of my captivity.My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a ‘good little hunter’ I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of ‘allergies.’ I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow — but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released – and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.
Ive come to know: Even a stolen blog that i definately didnt make up, yet has all the relevance to my animals is still freaking hilarious!!


Fertility Chick said...

Love your pictures - especially your pug! We have two pugs here..and they are very much my fur children! Just found your blog...will certainly be back to read some more! :)

Hope Endures said...

Too funny! I love this.


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